Divorce 411 Magazine
Workbook – Revelation
Self-Awareness
Special - Divorce 411 Magazine
In Relationships, when you allow yourself to be changed, it can cause the beginning of a breakdown.
On my self-development journey and in counseling sessions, this has been identified as unhealthy co-dependency. When you allow someone else’s actions to change the way you would respond, you’ve given them power over you.
Example: A couple is enjoying dinner at a restaurant and during the dinner one of them accidentally spills their beverage. The other person reacts in complete rage saying “I can’t believe you did that, how embarrassing”. The person who spilled the beverage is now on guard and from that point on in the relationship is always trying to think ahead to avoid any situations that might cause embarrassment or this outbreak from the partner. Of course this is impossible to do (catch any possible moments) but the reaction was so over the top that you feel it is worth the effort to be on guard to diffuse any future mishaps, and keep the relationship flowing smoothly.
Dependency in all forms exists in all relationships, without it there would be no need and very little desire to be in a relationship.
Note: This is internal breakdown. Stop, take inventory and work on yourself to regain wholeness, healthiness, and fulfillment from within so that what is radiating on the outside attracts the same positive energy.
Worksheet
1. Do you feel your behavior changed in specific situations in unhealthy ways? eg. shouting, driving reckless, silence, drinking
What were those situations?
Be specific. Make a list if necessary.
2. Did you try to communicate there was a problem?
3. Ask yourself how you would have liked the situation to be handled?
4. Did you have needs that you feel were unmet?
5. Explain one of your needs that you felt was unmet.
6. How would you have liked that need to be fulfilled?
Take time to think about it.
Write it down and read it back to yourself to be clear.
Remember, compromise is necessary in relationships and must be made by both partners.
Use this worksheet as a tool to get back in touch with your individual self.
Review your weekly routine and list the needs you feel have been neglected or forgotten.
You have just been through a tough life experience and now is the time to do something positive and healthy for yourself. Do something that is fun, even though you might not be in the mood, just do it and keep doing it. Keep it up, and you will start having a good time and will start attracting positive people and experiences.
eg. Walk through the park, read at the bookstore, bubble baths, take a class gym/recreation center/college, join a social club, take yourself out for dinner and a movie...
Continue writing these things down and if you need to get a journal, great! This tool is to get you back in touch with yourself, your likes, dislikes, etc.. that I talk about in the article. You are taking your first STEP to the BETTER –
New YOU!
Self-Awareness
Special - Divorce 411 Magazine
In Relationships, when you allow yourself to be changed, it can cause the beginning of a breakdown.
On my self-development journey and in counseling sessions, this has been identified as unhealthy co-dependency. When you allow someone else’s actions to change the way you would respond, you’ve given them power over you.
Example: A couple is enjoying dinner at a restaurant and during the dinner one of them accidentally spills their beverage. The other person reacts in complete rage saying “I can’t believe you did that, how embarrassing”. The person who spilled the beverage is now on guard and from that point on in the relationship is always trying to think ahead to avoid any situations that might cause embarrassment or this outbreak from the partner. Of course this is impossible to do (catch any possible moments) but the reaction was so over the top that you feel it is worth the effort to be on guard to diffuse any future mishaps, and keep the relationship flowing smoothly.
Dependency in all forms exists in all relationships, without it there would be no need and very little desire to be in a relationship.
Note: This is internal breakdown. Stop, take inventory and work on yourself to regain wholeness, healthiness, and fulfillment from within so that what is radiating on the outside attracts the same positive energy.
Worksheet
1. Do you feel your behavior changed in specific situations in unhealthy ways? eg. shouting, driving reckless, silence, drinking
What were those situations?
Be specific. Make a list if necessary.
2. Did you try to communicate there was a problem?
3. Ask yourself how you would have liked the situation to be handled?
4. Did you have needs that you feel were unmet?
5. Explain one of your needs that you felt was unmet.
6. How would you have liked that need to be fulfilled?
Take time to think about it.
Write it down and read it back to yourself to be clear.
Remember, compromise is necessary in relationships and must be made by both partners.
Use this worksheet as a tool to get back in touch with your individual self.
Review your weekly routine and list the needs you feel have been neglected or forgotten.
You have just been through a tough life experience and now is the time to do something positive and healthy for yourself. Do something that is fun, even though you might not be in the mood, just do it and keep doing it. Keep it up, and you will start having a good time and will start attracting positive people and experiences.
eg. Walk through the park, read at the bookstore, bubble baths, take a class gym/recreation center/college, join a social club, take yourself out for dinner and a movie...
Continue writing these things down and if you need to get a journal, great! This tool is to get you back in touch with yourself, your likes, dislikes, etc.. that I talk about in the article. You are taking your first STEP to the BETTER –
New YOU!